Nu știu precis momentul în care ea s-a instalat în mine, o boală silențioasă, ca o mătase dintre cele mai fine, acoperind, rând pe rând, fiecare bucățică a corpului meu, un dușman nevăzut al cărui nume îmi era încă necunoscut pentru că nu eram capabilă să-l asociez cu nimic; de fapt, cum aș fi putut clasifica acest demon interior, dacă nici măcar nu eram conștientă de existența lui, și, totuși… se cuibărise, mai întâi în subconștient, fermecând iceberg-ul invizibil cu dansurile ei orientale, ascunzând-și trupul hidos ȋn culori și mișcări psihedelice care, ușor-ușor au făcut poarta ghețarului să se topească și chiar să fie invitată înăuntru; nu a pierdut timp, nici măcar cȃt un fir de nisip, s-a instalat pur și simplu ca și cum acela ar fi fost regatul ei dintotdeauna, iar de acolo și-a construit strategia de cucerire cu calm, cu zâmbetul pe buzele subțiri ca linia orizontului, dar însetate de poftă, ceea ce le făcea să pară că sunt colorate de sângele asfințitului.
Zile şi săptămâni au trecut, iar mai apoi luni și ani și eu încă nu-i știam numele, însă cu cȃt creșteam, aveam o senzație ciudată în piept, ca și cum inima mea ar fi fost pusă pe un rug încins și învârtită, pentru a fi perpelită cȃt mai bine. Doamna, învelită ȋn mătăsurile ei prețioase, privea scena la nesfârșit hohotind de satisfacție, sadism și răutate, iar eu… eu păream sărmanul Prometeu al cărui trup era ciugulit în fiecare seară de către un vultur; și, pentru că mă ardea atât de tare pe dinăuntru, încât creierului meu îi era aproape imposibil să mai țină în frâu acest banchet diavolesc, a decis să mă ajute, să mă ajute să conștientizez ceea ce se întâmplă cu mine; m-a forțat să stau în acele senzații și mi-a trimis impulsuri în situații în care, de cele mai multe ori nu aveam reacții, iar mai curând, mă limitam a da replicile ȋn interiorul meu, fapt care era pe plac hidoasei musafire care, la un moment dat, s-a plictisit și a decis să mi se facă cunoscută, cunoscută ȋntr-un mod original și sadic, în care dinți mici și ascuțiți mușcau cuvintele pentru ca mai apoi să mi le trimită spre rostire
Şi nu doar atât, nu nu, avea nevoie de mult mai mult, dorea să aducă inima mea încinsă ani întregi la suprafață, prin manifestări de care nu m-am crezut niciodată capabilă, dimpotrivă, eu considerând că sunt o persoană calmă și superficială, așa cum îmi reproșa mama când rămâneam impasibilă în situații importante; până când totul s-a schimbat și am început să scot cuvinte încinse în cărbuni, limbi de foc care șerpuiau către persoanele ce-mi cădeau drept victime, sunetul lor devenind din ce în ce mai înalt reverberând ca un ecou și oferindu-i ei și mai multă putere; m-am speriat de acea fațetă necunoscută a mea, de acele reacții care-mi făceau să-mi ardă pieptul și care mă epuizau, făcându-mă să sufăr pe ascuns de comportamentul meu…dar, ȋntr-o zi am înțeles, și nu doar atât, am reușit să definesc acele avalanșe de flăcări căci nu erau decât ea, acea ființă hidoasă ascunsă printre cele mai prețioase mătăsuri: FURIA!
Lelia Aledda
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